I'm OK, You're OK

Friday, January 14, 2005

On this weekend, I am on the HR panel for a round of preparatory round of placement interviews for the third years understand the nuances of the placement process. I was just wondering what kind of questions I will asking them. I don't want to ask them them crap like -father's name, mother's name, sister's name, dog's name, dog's father's name, cat's occupation.....you get the idea. I was thinking of formulating some interesting questions which will catch them off-guard, yet will provide new insights to them about their problem areas that might have escaped attention. Some questions swirling in my mind:-
1)Your CGPA is too low. You must have been good in extra-currics( this would be deliberately asked to a person with poor acads & poor extra-currics)
2)Your CGPA is quite high. I hope your hobby isn't cricket (asked to a girl ( I know, I know , I'm evil :-))
3)You have answered most questions pretty well. Did you know the questions before entering the room?
4)If you have two tasks in the organization & both of them can't be finished in the allotted time. Which one will you choose?
5)Position in class? (I'm sure some people will lie, let's see if I can catch them. If I do then next question will ..........). Is that in ascending or descending order?
6)Your English is too poor. Why haven't you improved even after 3 years? (If yes), then are you a poor learner? (If no), don't you want to acquire new skills in life?
7)The technical panel tells me that your C/C++ is frightfully good. Don't you have any managerial ambitions ?
8)Why do you want to work for our company, especially when the pay is too low? So, you think the pay is too low? How do you know? So, you can't manage your expenses within this initial pay?
9)Any ambitions of MS/MBA/IAS? (Obviously, they will answer no). I see, so no further ambitions?(They mostly say, haven't thought about it till now). Ok, so you will start thinking of further education at 25? 30? 35?
10)Do you plan on getting married? If so what do you think about dowry? If you don't want to take it but your parents are insisting on it to pay for your sister's medical college fees, then?
11)Do you believe in secularism? If I ask you how much of our national character is Hindu, how much Muslim, etc , can you calculate it using sound logical reasoning? If yes, how?
12)Are you a athiest? If yes, what principles guide you day-today life? A Muslim & Hindu beggar ask you for money at a traffic stop, & you can give only one, which one will give you money?Why?
13)How much do you tip waiters? What % of total bill does it generally comprise?
14)How many hobbies do you have? Why so many? Why so few? Do you indulge in you rhobby in your free time or do you carve out free time? Don't you think the concept of a hobby is flawed? (My hobby is studying, since that is what I do in my free time :-) ).
15)Define good/evil? How are they different? Mention one person who was pure evil/good? Why haven't you met someone like that? What about Dawood, is he pure evil?
16)What is failure? Explain failure in statistical terms. Failure is the stepping stone to success - right or wrong? If right, then how many times should you fail in a particluar task? Can't you use stepping stones left by others? If yes, then is the original statement still valid?
17)Why are you dressed the way you are? Why not something more formal/informal? Our culture is very formal/informal, will you able to adapt?
18)Rate your sense of humour on a scale of 1-10? Why 5 ? I don't think you are that funny? What is the funniest joke you know?
19)What are your views on money? (Most will parrot out, somewhat important). On a scale of 1-10? If a colleague from the same institution is earning much more then how will you feel? If someone from a big-shot foreign university but doing the same work as you gets twice the money? We do have such differential pay? Do you know thedifference between money & power? Which comes first? Why?
20)Your strengths/weaknesses? (Some rusted answers will no doubt be there). You call that a strength? In our organization that's a weakness? That's a really serious weakness, you shouldn't have told us? I don't you can improve upon it?
21)Do you believe in first impressions? If no, then isn't the whole interview stuff flawed? If yes, then are you sure you should be rejected because of one bad day?
22)Household income? Don't you think the govt is unnecessarily subsidizing your education? What can be done? Do you support differential fees? If yes, won't it crate a feeling of animosity between students? If no, then what's the way out?
23)Is the entrance exam for this institution flawed? Why? How to improve it?
24)Your learnings fro your extra-currics? (Some usual crap) Those learnings can be had from a book. Give me some real learnings, maybe I can use them?
25)Will you try to aggresively supersede your boss, irrespective of his seniority? Why? Don't you think his seniority counts for anything? Don't you think competence is what ultimately matters?
26)Most of our hires at this position have left within a few years to pursue MBAs causing us considerable loss in training, replacement ,etc. Apart from the bond ,how do I know for sure you won't quit? Don't you think the bond amount is too minimal? Calculate the appropriate bond amount based on data I will give you?
27)Is the weather always this unpleasant in this town? Why? Don't know anything about geography? I am a BSc(Geography) grad but worked my way up based on my talent & caliber, will you feel ok to work under me? (A real interview question by Patni guys. Most will say yes) Past data don't support you?
28)Being a woman do you feel at a disadvantage? What kind of disadvantage? Have you faced any implicit harrasment in this institution/home/elsewhere? What was the cause? Why do men harass women & not the other way round? What do you think about the 33% reservation rule in Parliament for women? Why?
29)Suppose you discover a major ongoing scam at your workplace in which your boss is involved. What will you do?
30)How will you break up a fight between two girls fighting over the same boyfriend?

Phew. That should be enough. Will post notable responses to any questions I finally end up asking.
Going out of station for a day, tommorow. Missing Prof A's classes is giving me the creeps. Have already missed 3. Margin is 12. Yikes!!

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